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What is a Salty Creature Type?

Every year, EDHREC puts out a poll where users can vote for the cards that make them saltiest: the ones that create unfun games, are antithetical to the format, or any number of annoyances. The community then rates the cards on a 0-4 scale, with 0 being not salty at all and 4 being extremely salty.

From a Typal perspective, we’ll be looking primarily at commanders on past Salt Score top lists that reference a given creature type and secondarily at creature types with a high volume of creatures of that type. The threshold for inclusion on this list is cards that have a salt score of at least 1, meaning that they average inclusion on every list.

So, which creature type wears the crown of saltiest? We’ll look to answer that question, in roughly descending order.

Ninjas

Salt Score: 2.15

For the most part, Ninjas flipping in and out of play don’t make people too salty, but Yuriko is a Ninja commander that can evoke some frustration. While Yuriko triggers on all Ninjas connecting, most builds are built around cheap, unblockable creatures and high-costing control elements that have alternate costs, like Force of WillForce of Will.

Yuriko may be salt-inducing, but Ninjas themselves tend not to be.

Spiders

Salt Score: 1.23

Another commander that induces salt where the type tends not to is Cosmic Spider-ManCosmic Spider-Man, dragging down Spiders.

Some of the vitriol aimed its way may be the generalized hate at Universes Beyond, but there’s also the ire aimed at five-color commanders. The issues with five-color Typal commanders were previously described here, but, suffice it to say, Cosmic Spider-ManCosmic Spider-Man has that icky corporate feel of existing solely to let players use their Spider-Man cards, while not adding anything flavorful to the type or working with any of the type’s mechanics.

Goblins

Salt Score: 1.17

Krenko is the last of the commander-only entries on the list, likely earning salt because of how little work it requires to go crazy and how homogenizing the commander is.

Krenko decks are basically Krenko and a bunch of generic cardboard, and games play pretty much the same way every time. And the more the Krenko player untaps with it, the more out-of-hand things get, making it the archetypical “kill-on-sight” commander, which can impact multiplayer dynamics.

Druids

Salt Scores: 1.03, 1.25

Druids tend to be a fun turbo-mana type and a neat alternative to Elfball, with lots of fun tricks and combos, as seen here.

Chulane tends to evoke some frustration as a generic creature commander that does a lot of the work by himself. And Gilt-Leaf ArchdruidGilt-Leaf Archdruid, one of the few dedicated Druid support cards, steals lands, which is a form of mass mana denial and not a lot of fun to have happen to you.

Spirits

Salt Score: 1.21, 1.20

Spirits tend to be small blue-white flyers, but Kamigawa used them to represent ancestors and deities, and gave them a lot of support. Not all of the support was fun to play against, however, and Celestial KirinCelestial Kirin turning all Spirit spells into board wipes. It can even be mass land destruction with Omarthis, Ghostfire InitiateOmarthis, Ghostfire Initiate or Ugin's ConjurantUgin's Conjurant.

Spirit of the LabyrinthSpirit of the Labyrinth prompts a different kind of salt: it’s a Stax effect. Many players enjoy drawing lots of cards, and Spirit of the Labyrinth shutting that down is quite a killjoy for chaotic games.

Advisors

Salt Score: 1.39, 2.58

Advisors don’t really have much of a cohesive identity, but there are several that provoke groans.

Bruvac is a dedicated mill commander, which Grand Arbiter makes spells cheaper for its controller, but more expensive for opponents, feeling quite oppressive as a commander.

Sad, because both commanders would be good places for Persistent PetitionersPersistent Petitioners!

Vampires

Salt Score: 2.05, 1.00

I have my own hang-ups about Vampires and their literary lineage, which is a big reason why I haven’t written about them, but that’s irrelevant to their Salt Score.

Edgar MarkovEdgar Markov gets salt because of the power and antithetical qualities of the eminence ability, but it’s also a bit salt-inducing because of its ubiquity as easily the strongest option for Vampire decks.

Even ones that don’t run all three colors need a really good reason to not just run him and use the eminence ability from the command zone.

Butcher of MalakirButcher of Malakir is a prominent Vampire, but not one often seen in Typal decks.

It gets hate for the same reason Grave PactGrave Pact does: it can soft-lock creature-light decks and edict effects, in general, make people feel bad about having to choose between their favorite children.

Slivers

Salt Score: 1.36, 1.04

Now, we get into the big hitters. While the previous types only had five members with a salt score of 1 or more, Slivers have almost twice that. So what’s so salt-inducing about Slivers?

Well, Slivers were one of the few Typal decks I recall from the halcyon days of Commander, and I’m sure those deep-seated memories still affect them.

Slivers are tough to play against because they share abilities via their hive mind. I remember putting a silver bullet Sliver in my first Commander deck, just to have a creature that could absorb their sweet, sweet abilities.

Sliver HivelordSliver Hivelord gets hate because it invalidates a key element of counterplay: Slivers are vulnerable to sweepers, and it gives them indestructibility. Shifting SliverShifting Sliver gives them unblockable, which can end games quickly and unceremoniously.

Dragons

Salt Score: 1.78, 1.17

While Dragons might not be villains in Magic lore, or even Villains in Typal designation, they do have some cards that make them archenemy.

The Ur-DragonThe Ur-Dragon (Salt Score: 1.97) draws salt for many of the same reasons Edgar MarkovEdgar Markov does, but Miirym, Sentinel WyrmMiirym, Sentinel Wyrm is a different beast. It is so powerful and so ubiquitous that it has become the de facto Dragon commander, and, like Chulane, it’s just generically powerful and takes little to no effort to build.

Terror of the PeaksTerror of the Peaks is similar to Shifting SliverShifting Sliver, in that it ends games unceremoniously.

Unlike Shifting SliverShifting Sliver, it’s just a generally good card, to the extent that it takes on the Craterhoof BehemothCraterhoof Behemoth (Salt Score: 1.44) issue of just being a point-and-click win condition.

Phyrexians

Salt Score: 1.55, 1.41

Okay, now we’re into the juicy creature types, the big bads of Magic’s history. A whopping fifteen Phyrexians averaged a Salt Score of at least 1, and for good reason. Many Phyrexians have oppressive abilities, like Elesh Norn, Grand CenobiteElesh Norn, Grand Cenobite (Salt Score: 1.74) restricting small creature decks and Phyrexian CensorPhyrexian Censor (Salt Score: 1.09) limiting the number of spells players can cast.

Atraxa’s two versions are both generically and absurdly powerful, with Atraxa, Praetors' VoiceAtraxa, Praetors' Voice (Salt Score: 1.72) and Atraxa, Grand UnifierAtraxa, Grand Unifier both carrying Salt Scores of at least 1.

Praetor’s Voice is more of a generically-strong commander, like Chulane, while Grand Unifier, despite the title, is more of a loner, serving as a strong reanimation target.

Phyrexian ReaperPhyrexian Reaper stands out as an odd choice for a salty card, being a 3/3 for five mana. It TerrorTerror-izes any green creature that blocks it, making it a fine hate card, in the vein of Iona, Shield of EmeriaIona, Shield of Emeria. Still, as hate cards go, it seems remarkably tame for the hate it received in the Salt Score.

Eldrazi

Salt Score: 1.37, 1.42

Eldrazi, the big bads of recent Magic story, actually out-salt the Phyrexians, with a whopping 18 cards coming in at a Salt Score of 1 or more.

Many of these are versions of the Eldrazi titans, which have earned their spot on the list because of their raw power and game-warping abilities. Still, for the mana investment, they should have a considerable amount of raw power and warp the game when they hit.

Zhulodok and Ulalek, Fused AtrocityUlalek, Fused Atrocity (Salt Score: 1.32) are two of the more popular Eldrazi commanders, and both have a Salt Score of 1 or more. They are generically powerful and the former commands a high price tag because of its exclusivity to a precon.

Cascade and ability doubling are both really powerful, and Ulalek’s hybrid mana enables the deck to jam Eldrazi of any color, giving it the same issue as Chulane and The Ur-DragonThe Ur-Dragon.

It That BetraysIt That Betrays combines two sources of salt, like dipping pretzels in soy sauce. It has the annihilator mechanic, which forces opponents to sacrifice creatures, much like Butcher of MalakirButcher of Malakir. It then steals what opponents sacrifice, notably not limited to things sacrificed to annihilator.

Combining theft and edicts makes this a really nasty card to see across the table.

Conclusion

While evaluating creature type by Salt Score is an interesting metric, there are other reasons why a given type might make someone salty.

Maybe it’s the general vibe, or personal experience, or the way they affect multiplayer dynamics, but there are many reasons why a type might elicit a salty reaction.

But what types do YOU find salty? And what makes you feel that way?

There's still time to get in those last Salt Score votes! Polls close today!